Youth? Well…..nope.

I would never ever want a do over of 20, 30 was iffy. Now if you give me a chance at 40 again with the same man. I’d take that one with out a second thought. I actually had my head tied on fairly straight at 40. I had ceased waiting for the guys with the white coats to carry me off in a straight jacket.  I don’t know about anyone else, but up until 40 I really was convinced that I had several screws loose. Being in the boonies in Alaska suited me just fine ’cause I figured it would make it harder for them to find me to put me away.  I was really happy when they decided that they could no longer put people away for being a couple cans short of a 6 pack. I am quite serious here.

By age 40 I had pretty much gotten the kids to young adult status. I had a man I could relate to, count on and who wanted to be loved as much as I was looking for some one to lavish love on. That is a real good combination by the way.  My love harbored similar feelings of being on the fringe of sanity. Together we found that we really were ok. We both were just more willing than some others to acknowledge that we could have some strange ideas at times. Not acting on those ideas was key.

Both of us were creative individuals. We learned together how to not spin out of control. We used to joke that it was a good thing that neither of us got crazy at the same time. The other one always jerked the high flyer back down to earth before weirdness took over.

I wonder how many other people out in this old world wonder if they are just a tad bit crazy? If you happen to see this and are wondering that, I think you should understand that we all have thoughts which could be considered crazy. If you are aware that those thoughts are a bit off kilter and you are not acting on them, hang in there. It does get easier as you get older.

Autumn from my 3rd floor deck.



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